I'm not a doctor, but I like to make prognoses

I walked into the doctor’s office yesterday sure that I would convince him it was time for me to start easy jogging. I mean, I don’t need to bend my knee that much to trot along! I was shuffled off for x-rays while telling the nurse about how I knew it was time to start running again, my voice filled with the enthusiasm of a 10-year-old on their first day of middle school (mostly excited with an awkward tweak of nerves).

They snapped some glamour shots of the inside of my knee and I happily scurried back to my room without the hindrance of that stifling knee-immobilizer brace. I hopped up onto the exam table and patiently awaited the doctor while I watched the bustling of the office through the open door.

The doctor arrived and I greeted him with the widest, most enthusiastic smile while immediately telling him I was ready to start running. I’m pretty sure he thought I was insane. He told me that the bone was healing really well as he went through the physical exam again (I earned a solid A). I probably sounded like one of those stuffed animals with like three pre-recorded sayings because basically all I said was:

1. “I can totally start running now, I barely need to bend my knee for an easy run!”
2. “When can I start riding?”
3. “I need to ride and run, I’m going insane!”

Once he was tired of me pestering him about riding and running he went to confer with the supervising doctor about my case. He closed the door this time so I couldn’t observe the conversation. It was probably best as I would have been yelling across the office adding in my two cents in the whole time, you know, with my professional medical background and all ;).

Finally I heard his footsteps pace back around the office and the door handle twist open as he stepped through the door.

I immediately saw his body language and my mind started racing:
“Why isn’t he looking at me?? He did this last time with bad news too. I have to be able to run at least. Maybe riding was too much of an ask right now? Can I hike? Can I at least kick in the pool? LOOK AT ME DAMNIT!”

He finally looked at me. The answer to all of my questions was a firm, “No, no, nope.” I struggled to hold the lump down that was quickly rising through my throat as my vision started blurring due to the tears welling up in the best puppy-dog eyes I could muster. I couldn’t see it (literally and figuratively) at the time but he did give me some good news:

1. I can start physical therapy to bend my knee again!
2. I can walk around during the day without the brace on!
3. I can hike with the brace on but with no restrictions on range of motion (it was previously set to a max 20 degree bend)!

I left the office sans brace, cried on my phone to my mom outside of Whole Foods, spent $20 in Whole Foods on like two granola bars (delicious ones I might add), and then went and bought some new running clothes (retail therapy?!) that I can look at in my closet for three more weeks until I can start running again!

Thankfully there are a lot of great things in my life right now and after a good night’s sleep in my new place here in Boulder, I’m ready for day 31 of my recovery, jam packed with swimming, PT, hiking, and decorating my new room!

P.S. - Thank you all for the blog suggestions you gave me on social media!! Please feel free to shoot more my way if you think of them, I really appreciate it!